Biar Sajalah

Bahkan gue gak tau gimana cara ngomongnya, karena setiap gue ngomong selalu dan selalu jadi too crunchy to be told. Entah kenapa, gue pribadi menjadi agak traumatis (mungkin lebay) karena setiap gue ngomong, pesannya selalu gak sampe ke mereka. Jadi begitulah. Rasanya pengen teriak. Boleh? Mari teriak disini! Mengasyikkan teriak disini dengan huruf demi huruf, kata demi kata. Yup, tidak bising. Teriakan yang tersirat dan diam-diam. Biar sajalah.

This is really ups and downs month. I just write based on my conscience and my feeling. Truly I apologize for being so so immature and don't know where to share:( 

So, this is messy conscience and feeling.. I don't know how many times we're colliding many arguments and also I don't know how many times we're forgiving each other. Indeed, we argue a little thing and it become a 'big' thing that worthed to argue, whereas, it's absolutely not! A few days ago, like people's habit after shalat Ied, we usually apologize of every sins that we made. Ya, of course, --certainly-- I forgive you. It's way honorable if we forgive anyone who did mistakes to us, isn't it? Me either. He forgive me. But, it doesn't mean we never do it again. It happens all over again and again. Less than a day we're absolutely have a big arguing between us. Oooooh, really, I'm so freakin' tired to resist myself not to explode at that time. This case is never ever be done till its matter root. I don't understand whether you don't really know me or I don't really know you. I think that we don't know each other whereas we're supposed to close, really close.  

Why are we never ever in the same perspective to perceive a thing, even a little thing? What's wrong with us, hey big bro? Why don't you explicate your conscience and feeling nicely?! I'm so freakin' tried, big bro. I have my own way though I'm still adolescent and young. Wish you'll understand and respect my decision and my planning that I've thought and planned. When do we really close and know each other just like the other brotherhood? Don't you sad seeing them if we're always arguing? :"(

Still Don't Get It

Kayaknya semua orang bilang "There's no place like home."

Yak! Gue setujuuu! :D

Gatau kenapa ya, akhir-akhir liburan ini selalu mager kalo diajak ke luar rumah. Lagi merasa sangat amat comfortable sama rumah. Walaupun sepi, ditambah, kakak udah pindah. Bener-bener deh liburan ini temanya: I can do everything I like. Bener-bener menghayati suasana dan kondisi dirumah. Bener-bener jernih pikiran gue dari hal-hal yang berbau negative. Satu lagi, I feel safe.

Jadi gini, setiap dirumah gue pasti melakukan ritual gue, merenung, whenever I could. Sound strange, ya?

Iya, gue selalu berusaha merenung apa yang telah gue lakukan, apa yang kurang, apa yang salah, apa yang harus dilakukan, apa yang udah berhasil dilakukan. Terlebih lagi, tanggung jawab gue semakin besar karena gue udah jadi siswa tingkat akhir di SMA. Semakin banyaklah  gue harus berusaha dan berdoa. Semakin banyak pula gue merenung. Semakin sering pula gue --literally-- resah. Kalo udah kena situasi gini, gue juga tipikal yang suka berfikir dan berkata dalam hati gini "Kok lo malah berbuat/berfikir kayak gitu sih, Del? Udah tau seharusnya gini." gue juga makin bingung sendiri kalo kayak gini. Gak nemu jawaban. 

Tau sendiri kan, namanya udah kelas 12 pasti di otak lo bukan lagi kayak orang yang mau cari SMA atau SMP. Akhirnya gue share aja ke beberapa orang dan entah kenapa kalo di share secara verbal, respon orang malah gini, "Kok gitu aja dipikirin sih, Del? Slow aja kale!" Asli, kalo direspon gitu kenapa gue malah makin kesel ya. Lah, lagi bingung-bingung malah disuruh gak dipikirin. Gimana bisa gak nemu pemecahan masalah trs suddenly gak mikirin? Dikata kayak masalah orang nyari kutu kali. Makin ngerasa serba salah, makin bingung dan gak nemu jawaban.

Kayaknya cuma berdoa sama nulis disini kali ya jalan pintasnya. At least, otak dan pikiran adem dengan cara gue sendiri. Untung gue masih punya tempat yang bener-bener private kayak disini, disaat-saat kayak gini emang lebih baik 'berlindung' disini. Masalahnya, cara-cara kayak gitu cuma jalan pintas sementara dimana gue seharusnya punya 'jalan' gue beneran sebagai jawaban. Ohiya disaat-saat gue kehabisan mencari jawaban, akhirnya gue baca.Aabis baca-baca di beberapa media buat nyari informasi ternyata gue menyimpulkan: Semakin banyak membaca, semakin banyak pula kita tau bahwa banyak hal yang gak kita ketahui.

Diantara 2 pilihan itu sulit. Jawabannya cuma 2; baik atau buruk. Good or bad, it's only depend on you and how hard you've been fight for it. People say, let time get you the answer. But still, I don't get any answer. So, be patient is the way? How?! I still don't get it!

Joined This One. For Fun. ;)

I joined @SabilaAnata's give away to win FREE COTTON INK GIFT CARD worth 250k! Hope that I'll be the luckiest girl! ;p 

To keep her info connected: http://sabilanata.blogspot.com/2012/08/cottonink-giveaway.html

Kupon Goes to Bali & Jogja

This was my most pleasure 8 days. Jadi gini, Bulan Juli lalu sekolah gue ngadain acara tahunan sekolah yaitu Study Tour. Study Tour kali ini --seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya-- berkunjung ke Bali sama Jogja. Naik? Elang! Bis! Entah kenapa yah, naik kendaraan pake mobil, bis, atau apapun itu lebih menyenangkan. Soalnya, disini kerasa banget malah kebersamaan kelasnya. Gue lebih prefer naik bis daripada pesawat kalo lagi rame-rame kayak gini. Emang sih, lebih lama dan lebih capek. Gue ngerasain banget pengen cepet sampe. Tapi asal enjoy sama suasanya, ya, pasti seneng aja. Yang paling negangin tuh waktu gue gak sengaja bangun malem-malem. Bus gue ngelaju udah kayak banteng spanyol kalo ngeliat warna merah. Cepet banget, gile!

Ohiya, Kayaknya kurang afdol aja yah kalo gak posting fotonya.... walau telat. Haha. But, yes, I said  pleasure moments never be late to be memorized. :p

Mufid, what are you looking at? -_-

Ini pas lagi lunch di Banyuwangi, mau nyebrang ke Bali.Viewnya itu loh:') Tapi anginnya.. beuh!

Otw Pulau Penyu with a small speed boat from Tanjung Benoa Beach.

Burung apa ya ini namanya.. gue lupa-_- tapi sumpah, mau megang ini burung tp ngeri sendiri hahaha

Me with kartik and this bule's child. Tadinya mau buat wawancara laporan Jerman tapi niat itu diurungkan soalnya gak bisa bahasanya ada waktunya.

Bukan ke Bali namanya kalo gak nonton Tari Kecak:D

Kudapony's girlsss are at Kuta!

Korban Target wawancara B.Jerman >B-)

@Kintamani

@Malioboro. It's really great moment! Makan di pinggiran Malioboro itu sangat sangat enak. Kerasa banget nuansa Yogyakartanya:")

There's always a time for every people to be listened up for what their conscience are saying. Automatically, there should be no one who don't want to be treated like that way. --My own conscience.

Ya, this is my time. Just another wish to be treated like that.